Preacher, the mountain man

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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2021 6:53 pm

Preacher, the mountain man

Post by Cetigol »


Some folks around here call me Preacher. Is that my Christian name you ask? Nope, and to be plumb honest with ya feller, I don’t rightly remember the handle my ma done put on me when I came a howlin' and snarlin' into this here world.

What’s that now? Am I a man of the cloth? *chuckles slightly* Not hardly neighbour. Ahh I can see ya be awful curious to why folks be callin' me Preacher then.

Ya see, a goodly number a years ago I got pinned down up yonder near Cove by a band of Orcs on the war’path. Them there orcs be nasty fellers when they get their war paint on. They trussed me up right smartly and got to buildin' a fire under me toes, eh? I had a little while to think as they were whoopin' an' haller’in about the meal to come.

I recalled passing through Yew one time in my younger years and laid eyes on a crazy, scruffy faced man thrusting his hands up to the heavens and calling down the wrath of the gods against his neighbours. Something about being sold a faulty bull at a recent cattle auction. Anyways, I got to thinking surely these orcs wouldn’t eat a crazy person. And so I started preaching! As loud and colourful as I could manage! Just like the crazy man in Yew had so startled and mesmerized the locals, I preached and bawled and holler’d! All that evenin and through the night I preached the gospels of our lord. Far into the mornin' I was still callin' down the fires of heaven. Well darned if those Orcs didn’t convene a meeting and cut me loose. Their war chief was mumbling something about it bein’ bad voodoo to eat a crazy wild man, and he gave me back my war axe, my fur’s and sent me packin'.

I’ve been called Preacher ever since. I only believe in one thing. And that’s that a feller has to make his own way in life. There ain’t no laws out in the big empty. The only law is the law of the knife, the bow, and the war axe. And folks, That’s the truth. Life is hard up in the lonesome. People will get the point eventually, the point of an arrow..

I don’t lay claim to any home. I’m Wild, I’m wooly, I’m mangy and dirty. I dislike people clutterin' up the high lonesome. I’m free as an eagle, tough as a grizzly bear, and sneaky as a puma. I can out-fight, out-dance, out-sing, out-cuss and out-run ANY man! And I’m pretty darn good looking, too.
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